Lies

Why lie ? To make things cool. To adapt the new surrounding. Okay im just merepek. Well let me tell you something dear. Why lie ? Yes lies after lies you have been telling me. It's not a big deal that u're lying. It's just makes you look stupid because i know what is goin on. Look there's no point of bringing my relationship down. Yes i fight. Yes i argue. Yes sometimes i feel like kill my boyfriend ! But hey we make it thru. Yes we are still new and fresh couple. But guess what ? We did survive a few obstascle that had come to us. We did it together. So the love is growing inside us. So there's no point if you're trying to or secretly hopes my relationship to ends. I know you're just jealous. But you won't admit because you think your boyfriend is way awesome than i am. Oh maybe he did. Dari segi rupa. Dari segi harta. Yeah your boyfriend got that. Complete ! But guess what ? I know your boyfriend is ignoring you. I know your boyfriend is treating you the same like he did with others girl. And you my dear friend, you just cannot accept the fact that my boyfriend  treating me different from the other girls ! My boyfriend act like a boyfriend ! But your boyfriend ? Hmm dissapeared out of nowhere ! You are just being you. Giving hope for the relationship to last but instead he don't give a fuck about "the relationship" right ? See it hurts to know right ? It hurts right when you're the one who loves him but he tend to ignore you ? Been there. Done that. *pinjam ayat Qila* HAHAHA. Okay back to the story. Look i know you're jealous. I don't know why. I am so happpy with him so please all I need is your support. Don't even try to ruin it. Whether physically or emotionally. And the truth is I pity you. If the relationship is hurting you because you're the only who think and treat him like a boyfriend but he is treating you otherwise. Then you know what to do. End it. It's not about pride. It's about self respect. There's no point staying in it if you and him just like a friends. And the more embarrasing part is you keep on counting the days you are with him while he ? Hmm kau sendiri tau boyfriend kau macam mana kan ? Look aku bukan nak padankan muka kau or what. But if you need someone to talk too. Im here. Tak guna jadi jealous bila aku ada boyfriend and try to show off ur boyfriend padahal boyfriend kau perangai macam haram. Do you want to know the function of boyfriend ? Is to feel that you are being love by someone other than you family.  That's what important. And that's what we call couple. Tapi ni kalau couple kau je yang macam... Haih tak tau la nak cakap apa. Better end it dear. Im not goin to said it's easy but it's goin to be worth it *pinjam ayat Qila lagi*  Don't try to lie to me that everything went well you with your boyfriend. I know. Stop lying. I know you're hurting. Takda malunya kalau nak bagitau what had happen between you guys. You're pretty. You are goin to find someone who treat you nicely and makes you feel that you owns the world. Because thats what I feel right now. :) Alhamdullilah. So dear if you're reading this which i know you will. Think about it. Support me. And i will always support you in everything you did. Especially the part if you're dumping him.

ps:// setiap post aku memang kene ada nama Qila. ==" HAHAHA. Qila is my bestfriend who give me advices that aku akan ingat sampai mampos. Kbai.

Kita start hidup baru ?

Yeah actually i had a fight with semut. Kind a huge fight until we did mention and decide to go on our separate ways. It hurts when we take that desicion but somehow im glad ego take control of everything. I said Okay kita break up if that's the best way. And he is so shocked that i even agreed with that. At first i didn't cry until im returning his thing i cry. So badly. *k malu k nanges depan dia* . I know im still not that in lovee with him but somehow the feeling of losing someone,it sucks you know. It tear my heart. While im crying and taking his things. Suddenly he pulls me close to him. He hug me. Lama. And then he kiss my forehead and said im sorry.
"B sorry buat awak mcm ni. B sorry buat awak nanges *tangan lap air mata* . Jangan menanges please. I cried  for so long. And dalam masa nanges he didn't let me go. And keep on saying sorry. Somehow that makes me feel much better. After i stop crying then we start to talk. And his last word was "esok kita start hidup baru" ? No more macam ni okay. And i smile. :) After that things are slowly changing now. And guess what peeps  I AM SO BLOODY HAPPY now. He is the only person who can makes me cry and happy at the same time. He is just something. And maybe.. Maybe.. Maybe after I see the changing in him. Maybe i am falling for him. I said Maybe. Hehe.

Tak Sanggup

Let's said someday aku pergi U nanti. Lepastu macam tu la cara lecturer aku nak ajar sampai full blackboard . Aku lagi rela hadap drill sepanjang hidup aku ni dari aku hadap blackboard tu. kbai

To Be In Love Again. Am i Ready ?

That's the question that pop out thru my mind whenever im with him. Yes im in a relationship already. :) Am i happy ? Yes i am. Very damn happy since my boyfriend is so fun to be with.

maaflah gambar kabur.

The question is do i love him ? Hmm. I am happy when his here with me. I am still happy if he's not around too. Don't get me wrong. I will always be happy whenever he is still in my life. Happy doesn't mean that i love him. I just love to have him around. Why i am not falling for my own boyfriend ? The truth is. I tell myself not to. Thought my heart is saying otherwise but i tend to ignore my feelings whenever i feel like im goin to love him. Im sorry dear. I know sooner or later i will love him. Or maybe start tomorrow. But im too scared. Sangat takot. Yes this may sound lame but the pain from my last break up was still there. I still can feel the pain whenever i remember it. It feel sucks you know ! It surprise me somehow my last break up did affect me this much. I don't want to be cruel to myself,not to fall in love again. And of course not to be cruel to my boyfriend who loves me very much, Thank you sayang for showing that you really love and care about me.

I feel bad for feeling this way. But yeah ketakutan tu lebih menguasai diri dari rasa sayang and cinta. *eceh ayat,kalah drama melayu* Yeah that's the truth. Even couple ni pun not everyone knows since i didn't really open up about this. Yelah takut duk hubar hubar jap lagi couple 2 bulan jek ! HAHAHA. Haa that is one of the reason im afraid to love him. Im afraid things won't last and it end up me are getting hurt pretty bad. The only thing i can said right now. I am definately happy to be back in a relationship after 7 months of being single. Ditambahkan pulak boyfriend kita romantik and sweet tahap gaban. Maybe someday i will love him as much as he loves me now. I believe that love will come slowly if things are goin so well between us. :)

Pray for my relationship peeps !

Problem ?

Problem ? Oh sure la ada. Apa problem ? HARI NI AMEK RESULT !! Kau tau betapa cuak tahap nak sembam muka dalam tar jalan yang belum bancuh lagi tu ? All this while i keep on updating blog masa memula start form 5 sampai laa Speeemmm menjelang and now result pulak dah menjelang ! I swear ingatkan benda cuak cuak macam ni takkan keluar en. Ingatkan goverment suka simpan duk tatap dalam bilik kebal dieorg tu.

To be honest. I know how my result is goin to be. Maybe i only get 3A and maybe i failed my science sucject.  Seriously form 5 was too awesome to study. *okay alasan melampau gila* I enjoyed too much. Bukan enjoy bercinta,enjoy sakan sebab kawan. HAHA. Kawan kawan pun lebih kurang perangai aku jek. HAHA. But hey it's not that we didn't study at all. We did. It's just me yang tak bersungguh bila belajar. I don't like science. Eh entah la. Terlalu ignorant la masa tu. Nak regret sekarang pun tak guna. Masa tengah jawab SPM lagi la aku taknak ingat macam mana. Especially time Math tu. Erghhh !! Melalak tak berlagu siot masa tu. 

So now my problem is i couldn't face it. I don't have the guts to go and take my result. To face everyone. To answer the question. Want to call me coward ? Yeah i am. Malas tau nak jumpa someone then dia pun datang nak tanya and compare compare result. Sumpah malas. Especially ada la makhluk Allah tu. Pergh belagak tapi konon nak cover. Menyampah. But you see,I believe what i get is my rezeki from Allah. I believe He have another plan for me. I want to be a lawyer

tak memasal nak post gamba lawyer kan. HAHA

The thing is im just afraid i won't be continue studying  anywhere becauseof the bad result. Just pray for me peeps ! InsyaAllah things will turn out fine though the result is bad. Goodluck to those yang amek result today ! 

Hello There,

Yes  I know it's been awhile i didn't update my blog. Ever since masuk 2012 i've been so busy with work and i really don't know what is wrong with my laptop. Dah banyak kali try nak log in tapi tak boleh. So how im posting right now ? Im at my cousin's house. Ni pun sakit bontot duduk bawah sebab nak dapatkan line internet. HAHA. Well anak cik Khalil. Iaitu Yasmin. Asyik duk bertanya tentang bernyawa lagi ke blog saya ? Hehe. I am trying my ass out untuk hidupkan Min tapi tu laa. lappy buat hal.

So i survey my blog. Hmm. Memang dah lama tak update. And when i read all my old post. It's kind make me sick. Rasa macam nak buat blog baru. Sebab i want to make a new fresh start. Since it's 2012 right ? Tak suka tengok my old post yang ada kene mengena dengan ex boyfriend and dengan me being so emo with other people. I just want to make a new change. So kalau macam stuck dengan blog ni macam tak selesa. I try to delete the old post tapi tak boleh. :'(  Tapi rasa sayang la pulak nak tinggal blog ni. Well i don't know. If i ever make a new blog i let you know the URL.

For all the times i had to go through the pain of losing someone i love.

For all the beautiful moments i cherished with my FAMILY, my LOVE and FRIENDS..

For new friendship,new perspectives,new horizon.

For the worse and painful feeling of loneliness..

For the amazing feeling of loving and being loved.

For all the new changes you brought in me.

For all the times i cried and became stronger.

For the feeling of being rejected and taken for granted..

For all the beautiful momeny spent with HIM.

For the fact that he knew what he was doing to me but yet didnt wanna do anything about it.

For all the times i had to stop caring about myself and my feelings just to make sure he is happy.

For all the times i missed my loved ones who are far away from me.

THANK YOU 2011 for giving me a new meaning of life and for making me explore my inner strength and beauty..

you are certainly one of the years am not gonna forget..

NOW LETS JUST WAIT AND HOPE FOR A BRIGHT AND PEACEFUL AND 

HAPPY 2012 :)